All of us love being appreciated and validated. So much so, that at times we do things just so that people can like us. If you too can relate to this, it makes you a people-pleaser. People-pleasers feel confident only when others approve of them. That is why they say ‘yes’ to everything that others ask of them. Such people are afraid of what people will think if they say no. Here, we will learn how to stop pleasing everyone.
The negative side of being a people pleaser is that it puts immense pressure on you. This may lead to excessive stress, anxiety and at times insomnia. Given below are a few ways on how to stop pleasing everyone –
12 Ways Of How To Stop Pleasing Everyone:
You always have a choice
Remember, that you don’t always have to please everyone around you. You always have a choice.
Set your priorities
If you know what your priorities are, it will be easier for you to say no or yes.
You may not be able to say no immediately to someone. In such cases, it is better to stall. Thereby, giving you the opportunity to think and decide whether you want to yes or not.
Set a time limit
In case you agree to something, it is better to set time limits. For example, you can tell the person you are available only for a couple of hours.
It is important to be able to see when people are taking advantage of you. This helps when you want to learn how to stop pleasing everyone.
Say no with conviction
It is always hard to say no the first time. Thus, we should say it with absolute conviction. Conviction makes it the most effective way on how to stop pleasing everyone.
Consider its worth
You should be able to determine whether the favour is worth the time or not. If it is not, then it becomes easier for you to say no.
Stop making excuses
The drawback of being a people pleaser is that you want everyone to like you. Hence, you start making excuses when you are unable to. Stop doing this. If you are unable to do something, say it out front. No means No.
Do not apologize
Remember that you are not doing something wrong. Saying no does not make you at fault.
Set clear boundaries
It is important to define your own limits. Even people around you should know that you have certain boundaries that need to be respected.
Don’t be scared of the consequences
Often people-pleasers worry that they will have some fallout with their friends if they say no. The fallout is never as bad as we think. If your friendship is true, then nothing can malign it.
People-pleasers are often very low on confidence. It is important for such people to always use positive self-talk. Feeling confident is the key to how to stop pleasing everyone.